With Plastic Jesus, Everything Is A-OK!

Okay, so we've been in Iraq for a little over two weeks now and have performed a lot of different missions. Here are a few photos from a few fairly typical days:

http://www.justanothersoldier.com/blog040321.htm

Discussion One

There have been some good questions, particularly in regards to Wazina's configuration and my combat load of ammunition, so I thought it good to share. But first, let's talk mailing address.

JAD writes:

How bout that snail-mail address now that you're at the FOB?

I've been holding back on giving the mailing address out too freely because it contains a lot of information. But after much deliberation, I've concluded that the anonymity that I'm trying to maintain will not protect me from any bad guy determined to know who I am and where I am and only inhibits productive use of the address, i.e. care packages, mail, etc. So here's my mailing address:

Jason Hartley
A 2-108 INF, 2 BCT 1 ID
FOB Lion
APO AE 09392

For those that have been asking if there is anything they can send to us, things like baby wipes and foot powder are fairly accessible and are no longer really an issue, but things that can break up the monotony and routine of army life are always very appreciated and can be broken down into two categories: anything that can be eaten (candy, munchies, cookies, canned and dried food, etc.) and anything that entertains (magazines, books, dvds, computer games, etc.).

On a personal and somewhat shameless note, I'd be stoked to get written letters from people (photos would be even cooler) and DVDs of what you've been watching that you would like to share. I have to admit that I'm a bit of a film buff and it's killing me that I can't rent DVDs or take in whatever is currently showing at the Angelika or Film Forum in Manhattan. The little shop we have at our FOB sells surprising good and well-pirated DVDs. I've recently purchased American Splendor, Shattered Glass, My Life Without Me, Sex and Lucia, and Talk To Her. So far I've only had a chance to watch Shattered Glass (a decent story with Anakin Skywalker whining in another movie) and My Life Without Me-- which I loved. I think I'm either turning into a girl or maybe a sentimental old man because I find myself liking dramas more and more. I'm guessing that the somewhat sophisticated selection of DVDs is because indie films are easier to pirate perhaps?

JAD also mentioned:

Enjoyed the pix. I thought you had the dick-flap flak-jacket though...

It was tricky trying to decide how to pack all our gear for the long trip to Iraq and the dickflap portion of my body armor ended up in a different bag. We've been living out of our rucksacks and are yet to see the rest of our bags that are somewhere in logistical limbo. I hope to soon turn my very vulnerable veinsteak into a proudly protected pecker.


I'm no political wonk nor current affairs pundit and am not a fan of link-dropping, but NM recently reminded me of the "Get Your War On" comic strip that I have been a fan of for some time and I must share it with you.

http://www.mnftiu.cc/mnftiu.cc/war32.html

ST comments:

Sheesh on the no running water, hope they get you some quick. I know that sand gets every where no matter how hard you try and can make life miserable!

I can guess you guys are useing a lot of 'yankee' ingenuity to get made all the things you need - heres hopeing there's lots of scrounge available.

A little bit of all that money that our government is overpaying to Halliburton will be coming to us soon when Kellogg Brown & Root visit us and build us some stuff, including a "dining hall". Running water will never happen, but we'd be stoked to just get some port-o-johns. I NEVER thought I'd be looking forward to shitting in a fucking port-o-john. Today I burned shit. Have you ever burned shit? It sizzles. You pour diesel into it, mix it up into a gassy shitty emulsion then you burn it and stir it. And the processed-food-laden turds soldiers squeeze out take forever to burn. Strangely, I kinda had fun doing it. When I was done I had shit-ashes in my teeth. And it smells funny, like funky grilled steak. But I digress.

In a future installment I will do a Better Homes and Gardens thing on all the crazy stuff we've made for ourselves. I am writing this under light of a hanging lamp I made from broken table fan parts. We even made a septic tank from ventilation tubing.


For the gun geeks out there, CB writes in regarding the zeroing of my M68 Aimpoint (the red dot reticule reflexive firing sight mounted on the top of Wazina):

I am not sure how accurate it is at longer range, but can't you just zero your iron sights and then line up the Aimpoint to co-witness right on the iron sight picture. I have done that on my AR-15 and it seems to work great. Although I don't really shoot beyond 200meters.

Yes, it can be done this way with a decent amount of accuracy, but to be certain of the zero and to be accurate at longer distances, especially those over 100 meters, I feel that the Aimpoint must be zeroed on its own.

I noticed on your picture of Wazina that you have a different mount and rear sight than my rifle. I have no carry handle and a flip-up rear sight. So my Aimpoint is mounted to the back rail in front of the rear sight, and the aimpoint mount is not as tall as the one you have. So maybe you cannot co-witness anyway.

I would have purchased my own flip-up rear sight and ditched the carrying handle altogether were it not for the fact that I have the M203 and am holding out for a quadrant sight-- something most likely to be mounted on the carrying handle. The normal quadrant sight for the 203 can not be used on the M4 because of the two knobs that are used to attach the carrying handle to the upper receiver. If I can't get an M4-compatible quadrant sight, I'll opt for a less accurate leaf sight that can be mounted on the top-front of Wazina, then I'll put a flip-up sight on her for the rear sight. Also, my Aimpoint mount is taller than yours most likely because I installed the spacer that raises it higher, something I feel helps me get a good sight picture more quickly.


On a similar note, JC writes regarding my combat configuration:

By the way HEDP stands for High Explosive Dual Purpose, NOT Deep Penetrating (sounds like some sort of sexual toy: The 40mm Deep Penetrator).

Since most of the information soldiers receive in the Army is disseminated verbally, it is not uncommon for soldiers to get bad information. I was once told that the DP in HEDP stood for "deep penetrating" which is incorrect, but it stuck. It does in fact stand for "dual purpose", I stand corrected. However, the two purposes are to explode real big and to be able to penetrate a certain degree of armor, so the idea is in the right ballpark. I also referred to EOD in a recent post as "explosive ordnance removal" instead of "explosive ordnance disposal". Hell, the acronym for Humvee is actually HMMWV meaning "high mobility motorized wheeled vehicle". Or at least that's what I think it stands for. Military acronym argot could be a PhD course.

JC continues:

Got some questions/issues with your kit. Why the fuck are you running the aimpoint on the top rail of the handguard instead of back where it needs to be so you can mount a PAQ-4/PEQ-2 on the top and leave the right side available for the surefire? Love your carrying handle that much? Were you not issued a BUIS? I can't really tell from the picture of Willy's weapon, but it sure doesn't look like it! Same thing with the old M68's?

What is a BUIS? Like I said, I'm working on a better setup for the Aimpoint, etc. Also, the sling setup where it attaches to the left-front side, precluding mounting much on that side. I'm thinking about coming up with a decent one-point sling solution (as opposed to my current two-point setup) so I can mount my PEQ-2 on the left side. Currently, I have a Surefire flashlight (with IR filter) mounted on the right side. The PEQ-2 can do IR flashlight duties, but not regular flashlight duties. Plus, the weapons are barely zeroed and our PAQ4/PEQ2's sure as hell aren't zeroed, so I figured why even bother mounting an infrared laser that isn't zeroed for shit. Once I am able to zero it, I'll worry more about mounting it on Wazina.

Your front sight post is about a fucking mile in the air! Suprised that it doesn't just move around on its own from not having enough threads in the hole, or that you haven't tweaked it. Have you always had it this high up when you've zero'd? What the fuck?

I've had weapons where the zero put my front sight post really low, but this is the first time I've had a rifle where the zero put the front sight post this high. I thought that thing was just gonna screw right out, but it's solidly in place believe it or not. I wonder if the mounting of the 203 affected this?

Your basic load of Grenades is pathetique. If one of my Grenadiers told me he was only going to cary 5 fucking grenades and have the rest in a patrol pack (which he's not wearing while mounted, and which undoubtely will be left behind if he has to unass his victor [get out of his vehicle] in a hurry - like if somebody is shooting at him and he wants to get out and shoot back with grenades) I'd have to question his sanity. This is just one of my very large complaints about mounting pouches directly onto IBA. No frags or flashbangs? No less lethal loads? I'm getting upset and I'm back here Oregon where it doesn't affect me at all!

JC, I wish I had more leaders with this much common sense (and with supply connections) about weapons configurations. All excellent complaints. First, I have not been provided with any means of carrying the grenades. I have two smallish pockets that were part of the standard rifleman kit that came with the MOLLE kit for the IBA (Interceptor Body Armor) that two grenade fit in nicely, and that's it. I'm currently using a canteen pouch to hold a few grenades and my ANPVS-14 night vision monocle. This whole setup sucks, but it's the best I could do for now. I didn't even know I was going to actually be issued any grenades. I pessimistically thought that they'd never give us any. I was actually impressed when they issued them.

Also, I don't like mounting all this shit directly to the IBA either, but that's the SOP we were given to follow. Once I figure out how to carry all this shit better (grenades, night-vision, smoke canisters), then I'll work on putting together a vest that I can wear over the IBA. By the way, the FLC, the vest thing that came with the MOLLE kit of things to wear on with the IBA, is in my "vital" bag, one of those bags that was supposed to be here weeks ago. Understand that whatever I end up doing, a lot of it will end up coming out of my own pocket and the modest Just Another Soldier fund. The Army has been pretty good about getting us gear, but they just haven't been giving it to us intelligently. The M240 gunners have kick-ass thermal sights that haven't been zeroed and no one has been trained on (they're easy to use though) and we have a ton of 203 gunners with a lot of 40mm ammo who have had NO training whatsoever on the weapon. I have had a decent amount of training on the 203 and have put a lot of HEDP downrange, but I haven't fired one in over three years. But the "complaining about training" days are LONG gone.

JC continues regarding the load that is worn vs. carried:

...when they might want the other grenades, they will throw the rest into a "patrol pack", where the chances of getting at them in a reasonable amount of time (especialy if they are being shot at) is slim to none, turning our grenadier into a rifleman. This is a typical army half-assed solution. If your operating environment (threat and more importantly ROE [rules of engagement]) doesn't warrant carrying a butload of grenades then you shouldn't have to carry them! If on the other hand, you (your CO/S2) think that they are waranted, then you should carry them someplace that you might actually be able to get at them in the middle of an engagement!

I agree that it is unlikely that the need for a grenade where there is time to get it out of a patrol pack is unlikely. This means they need to be worn. But now we're back to the first issues, how to wear them all when no 203 MOLLE kits or pouches have been issued and no 203 vests have been issued. More intelligent gear issue done earlier in the training period is the best solution.


On the placement of my tracers in my magazines, EB says:

We loaded our magazines in Korea the pretty much the same way. However, we only loaded 28 rounds per magazine, as 30 rounds would often cause the spring to fail to push the next round up. We also started with three tracers, not just one.

Our Senior NCO's who were Vietnam vets (remember, I was in the Army in the mid 1980's) told us that this was also a problem in Vietnam with the smaller 15 round magazine.

Maybe you guys have better magazines than we did.

I've heard this about the springs in the magazines having problems when the mag is fully loaded, but in all my time in the Army I've never seen it first hand. Maybe this is an issue that has been addressed with the magazines we now use.

When I told John that the last three rounds in my mags were tracer, he berated me and told me that the enemy would most likely learn that the three tracers meant that I was reloading and take advantage of this. That's why he puts two more regular rounds after his last tracers. I guess opinions on tracer placement in magazines are like assholes…


SM writes regarding the boomdog (What Dan likes to call the exploding dog in the road on our convoy in) and my combat load:

Poor dog. Bad enough to be dead. Then GI Joe comes along and blows you sky-high, thinking you might be a dirty trick. Did you guys bury it after, or was it blown to bits?

It was just blown to somewhere else, where it will probably be found again and blown up again, propelling it to somewhere else again until boomdog finds itself in Iran or Syria most likely.

Your combat load: At the risk of repeating myself, "Schhhhweet!". My 16-year-old, something of a gun-groupie, looked at the picture and kept muttering "high explosive deep penetrating" under her breath. She also asked me to tell you how much she admires Wazina. "Beautiful" is the word she used, I think. I was not surprised to see all the 5.56 on strippers, but where are the magazines? How many are you issued?

I have eight mags: six in three two-capacity pouches on my body armor, one in Wazina, and one in my assault pack.

Also, I meant to ask how you got to be a grenadier. Rank? Proficiency? Bribe?

Matt was originally my grenadier, but he's also a paramedic in real life and has become the unofficial platoon medic. This means he carries a lot of extra medic gear as it is. To make him a 203 gunner would just have been retarded. He's also commonly used as a driver, so when we dismount from the Humvees, he and the turret gunner have to stay with the vehicle. So I asked for the 203 and it was given to me. Being the control-enthusiast that I am, this gives me, the team leader, better ability to control how it is employed because I'm the one carrying it. It is not traditional for the team leader to carry the 203, but personally I think it makes the most sense.

Glad you got the Interceptor. I know shortages and snafus are a fact of military life, but I'd really like to hear a few less news stories about shortages and a few more about how many lives the armor has certainly saved. (Let the insurgents put on the 'armor of God' - I'll take ceramic.)

"The armor of God"! I love it! That's hilarious! Why didn't I think of that! The IBA is heavy as hell, but I feel a lot safer wearing it, especially for all this close-quarters battle stuff. Now running around outdoors with it on is another story, but hopefully we won't have to do too much of that. So far I've already done a good bit of it. I'll expound on this more later.

And on the subject of prayers, don't give the Christians all the credit - this heathen prayed to his heathen gods and I like to think it did some good.

Thank god. All those Christian prayers were about to jinx me. What I really need is at least one Satan worshipper to pray to ole Scratch for me to even things out. But heathen gods will do. Hell, I'll even take a Jehovah's Witness or Seventh Day Adventist prayer in a pinch.

Road Trip, Iraq

Our convoy left Camp Udairi, Kuwait on 10 March and we arrived at our forward operating base (FOB) on 12 March. The drive took the better part of three days, mostly due to the fact that convoys drive slow, inherently. The weather was perfect and the trip uneventful other than the convoy coming across a dead dog thought to be disguised as an IED on the side of the road a few klicks out of the FOB. It was blown up by EOD (explosive ordnance disposal) with several pounds of C4. There was no IED and all it did was launch the dog sky high.

We now live in the middle of nowhere in an what used to be an ammo bunker. Imagine a lower-Manhattan loft that would be to die for if only it had windows, set in the middle of the old west. Anything we want we have to build ourselves out of scavenged material, the Mad Max metaphor taken to a whole new level. We get a hot meal about every other day and there is no running water and therefore no toilets so we have to burn our own shit. Hearing massive explosions, be it EOD or mortar fire and random gunfire from everywhere is so commonplace that we already ignore most of it.

We've been really busy and we're still trying to find our battle rhythm, so I haven't written for a while. There is so much to photograph and write about that I barely know where to start. So I'll just start at the beginning. Here are some photographs from the convoy:

http://www.justanothersoldier.com/blog040312.htm

I hope God doesn't throw lightning bolts at me for saying this, but for the record, I'm having a ball.

Let's Roll

This will be the last time I write from Kuwait. My platoon leaves for the heart of Iraq by way of no small convoy very soon. I don't have a lot of time to write, so this will be a stream-of-consciousness blog entry. Here goes.

I've spent so much time recently existentially pondering all this combat crap that I've forgotten to complain about the Army. Here's me complaining: The most important thing a rifleman can do is shoot straight. This apparently is not very important anymore. We've been sitting on our asses for the majority of the last two weeks and we finally went to a range recently. Since I carry the M203, my weapon wasn't ready until just a few days before we left Fort Drum. So I never got a chance to zero it there, the idea being we would zero it in Kuwait. So we finally get to the zero range and they give us just enough ammo to zero the iron sights. Okay, fine, but I don't really use the iron sights to shoot, I use the Aimpoint (reflexive firing optic). But there was not enough ammo nor range time to zero both. I refuse to only zero the Aimpoint and not the iron sights because if the battery dies, I want a reliable back-up aiming solution. So I compromised and got a decent but unconfirmed zero on the iron sights and a half-assed but decent zero on the Aimpoint. This is totally unsat. We should have spent DAYS at the range zeroing the HELL out of all our weapons systems and doing familiarization fires on all the systems.

Me and the guys of my truck almost didn't get to go on the convoy ("road march" is the better term actually, even though we won't actually be marching). My commander's Humvee needed a new alternator, so in the meantime during training, he took my platoon sergeant's Humvee who in turn took mine. A few hours ago the commander's vehicle finally got fixed. This only gave the guys of my Humvee a couple hours to pack our vehicle. Actually, it's not our vehicle. Since our platoon sergeant has been using ours for the past several days, he decided to keep it so he wouldn't have to unpack it then repack into his old vehicle. This is cool (sorta) because this now means that we have his vehicle which has one of those super duper high tech Blue Force Tracker computers in it. This thing is cool as shit. It's a GPS-linked touch screen computer that sits in the front passenger side of the truck that allows the truck commander to see a bird's eye view map of the battlefield in real time. For all the geeks out there, I want so badly to discuss this hardware (it runs a very peculiar combination of OS and processor), but I won't because of I'm sure I'd be violating OPSEC is a dozen different ways. Suffice it to say that it's really fucking cool.

Speaking of the Humvee snafu, my platoon was given Kevlar blankets to put on the seats of some of the Humvees. Mine was one of them. This is cool because it literally protects your ass from land mines, IEDs, etc. Well, we had to give them back for some reason. All of the guys in my truck agreed that we would forgo the sandbags-on-the-floor bullshit and just live dangerously and roll without them. The Humvee is uncomfortable enough as it is without a bunch of friggin' sandbags crammed in there for the sake of the time when an explosion happens to take place DIRECTLY beneath me. There are still a shitload of sandbags in the Humvee, don't get me wrong, we just opted for leg room on the floor of the seats.

The family support group for my battalion and company are among my readers. This makes me very nervous. If you are in the family support (family readiness, whatever) group, understand that it is because of relatives of guys in my unit reading the stuff that I write (and ratting me out) that I got shut down the first time. If ever my commander hears anything along the lines of "Hey, look what someone emailed the family readiness group" in reference to any of my email, I will be very very very upset because my commander will be very upset. He'll probably transfer me to a laundry unit. Then I'll spend every day emailing all of you about underwear. If you want to continue to read about Iraq and not underwear, don't forward or even mention anything I write to my commander, his wife, anyone he is related to, works with, or knows.

While we're talking about people who read my ramblings, I'm going to guess that most are Christian. Just so you know, I am not. I love Christian values and have respect for anyone that is Christian (I was raised Mormon after all), but I apologize in advance for all the ways that I'm sure I'll offend you at some point. My writings have already become forbidden reading with my own family. Speaking of which, someone left some really funny anti-Mormon graffiti in one of the port-o-johns at one of the ranges (not me). It said, among other things, that "God prefers pedophiles over Mormons". Although tasteless, I think this is hilarious.

I am really excited about this drive north. It's gonna take at least three days and I'm sure it will be miserable in several ways, but how often to you get to take a road trip through Iraq? Note to geeks: I wish to god that I would have come more prepared with my laptop as far as hacker-esque apps and hardware are concerned . Just think how interesting of an article for 2600 this would have been: "Wardriving in Iraq: a survey of its wireless networks".

Okay, that's it for now. I have no idea when I'll get to write you again. When I do, expect some good stories and photos. After all, that's the whole reason you join the Army is to get some good stories, right?


On the way back from the range we ran into a herd (the correct noun?) of camels and some Bedouins. It is not uncommon to have to cease fire on the ranges so these guys can pass with all their camels.


A happy little camel family (in a Ranger file).


In the chow line I noticed this Marine's cheat sheet for handy Arabic phrases.

Chow Time

It's sorta hard to talk about what life is like for us right now in Kuwait. We don't really do that much other than walk to chow three times a day and occasionally making a stop off at the PX or computer center. We're in the middle of a desert-- there's nothing here. So for a little photo walking tour of Camp Udairi, Kuwait, follow this link: http://www.justanothersoldier.com/blog040303.htm

Something I've been puzzling over for some time now: being here in Nowhere, Kuwait, is it more Indiana Jones or is it more Star Wars? The Star Wars argument is pretty sound I think. We started out at the snow-covered fields of planet Hoth (Fort Drum, NY), then we made a short trip to the swamps of the Dagobah System (Fort Polk, LA), now we return to the vast deserts of Tattooine (Iraq/Kuwait). "But Return of the Jedi was filmed in Tanzania which is in Africa, so I'd say this is more Indiana Jones.", Dan pointed out. Between all the tents and soldiers and sand and the actual setting, the Indiana Jones argument is pretty sound too.

Then we were assigned the Humvees that we'll be driving in our convoy into Iraq and the argument was settled: this is definitely Mad Max. If you could see our vehicles you'd understand. I'd include pictures of these things, but I don't want Habib the terrorist insurgent studying them. Maybe someday once this is all over I'll post the images. They're pretty interesting and some are just flat out funny.

Let me explain these vehicles a little. Our battalion was given a number of the new "up-armored" Humvees, these bad-boys with the powerful engines, air conditioning, bulletproof glass and more armor plating than you can shake a stick at. My platoon did not get many of these. I think we got two. Then there are the Humvees that have the "bolt-on" armor plate kits. Once these kits are installed, the armor is pretty damn decent. I think we have one or two of these. The rest of the vehicles we were assigned are plain-vanilla unarmored Humvees which we have now sand-bagged the hell out of. We put those Halliburton carpenters to work and have had them make all sorts of stuff for us to help us turn our Humvees into giant rolling mounds of sandbag. For the normal turtle-back Humvees we've sandbagged the floors, the windshield on top of the hood, and best of all we had plywood boards cut that now separate the passenger area from the back so we could stack a wall of sandbags behind us. Some of the seats are now covered with Kevlar blankets also. Once you cram all our additional equipment, food, water, weapons, ammunition and our gear-laden bodies into what little space is left, you have a Giger-esque monstrosity. These fuckers are now uncomfortable as hell and it'll be a miracle if we make it to our AO in Iraq without anyone developing blood clots in there legs from being folded into our seats like Swiss Army knives. I'm not complaining really, it's not like I want to get blown up by some shitty IED. I've placed every sandbag with the outcome of flesh vs. shrapnel well in mind. But I've gotta tell ya, some of these vehicles are just laughable the way they look now. We have a flatbed Humvee that has a mount in the bed for a machine gun. A double-walled plywood box was constructed in the bed to surround the gun and gunner. The hollow space in between the walls was then filled with sandbags. Although neither of us will be the one standing back there, Kirk and I took great care packing in each one of these sandbags. I've seen 5-ton cargo trucks that have constructed similar boxes for their gun turrets, some with welded metal plates. Every vehicle with a gunner turret has also had a sharpened piece of angle iron bolted to the frame of the windshield that stands straight up like a sword to cut through any piano wire that may be strung across any roads in attempt to decapitate machine gunners. It all looks pretty gypsy. My favorite I think is Dan's and Kirk's vehicle. It's a canvas-top Humvee that's had the armor-plated kit applied and a plywood sheet bolted to the roof in place of the canvas. It looks sorta like a half-armored dune buggy-- semi-ridiculous. Or as my platoon leader likes to call it, the Malibu Barbie Humvee.

---------

The 1st Infantry Division General spoke to us a couple days ago. The most memorable thing I remember him saying was in reference to our rules of engagement and how we can "crush the rattlesnake that is poised to strike." He said, "What do you do when you see an Arab put an RPG to his shoulder? You draw a bead on his fucking head and you kill him!" He also told us how none of the recent convoys going into Iraq have been attacked. That changed today. One of the 1st ID convoys got hit just as it left the Kuwait border. From what I heard there was one KIA and two WIAs. Score one for the enemy. They hit us the moment we walked out the front door. If I were the enemy, I'd hit the new incoming US soldiers with everything I had right off the bat and inflict as many casualties as possible in an attempt to demoralize the new guys. In a way I hope this is what they are thinking because I would love to make contact on our convoy. This might sound stupid and perverse, but I want to get the trepidation of making first contact out of my system. And I don't think I'm the only one that feels this way. I also want to discard any moral qualms I might have about killing other human beings and help as many of these fuckers die for Allah as I possibly can on day-one. Also, if they bring everything they've got to the fight, it will give us a chance to neutralize more of their assets.

I refuse to call this a war. World War Two was a war. This is a fight. And a dirty one at that. The way I see it, our enemy simply wants to kill as many Americans as possible convincing the CNN-watching public that the price is just too great and we should pull out and let the Shiite clerics or whoever take care of things. In my opinion, this strategy is brilliant. It's cheap and it has a good chance of working. I pray it doesn't. I think about the reasons why all this started and how America is commonly perceived as the big evil land of the infidels. When I think of what America must look like to Islamic Fundamentalist Joe, I think of Hollywood. Hollywood makes so much offensively unwatchable garbage and aggressively sells it to the world. So "Bad Boys II" is how America gets represented more often than not to the rest of the world. This is unfortunate. Then Islamic Fundamentalist Joe looks at the proud and history-rich culture he comes from and how Martin Lawrence is encroaching on it, and he becomes Terrorist Joe. America is beautiful from the bustle of its cities to the hiking trails of its national parks, from the snow mobiling people in Minnesota that talk funny to the grits-eatin' people of Georgia that also talk funny, from the kids on skateboards at strip malls in California to everyone's grandparents enjoying retirement in Florida. But Terrorist Joe only sees Jerry Bruckheimer and his Taco Bell merchandizing tie-ins wiping his shoes on his prayer mat. So I feel for ya, Terrorist Joe. But some of your buddies attacked me where I live in New York City. They killed people I know. And since a lot of New York City police officers and fire fighters are also National Guardsmen, they killed a lot of our brothers-at-arms. So invite all your foreign insurgent friends and anti-coalition forces friends to your place and set the table because a lot of very pissed off New Yorkers are coming over for dinner and we're hungry.


"Justice", Kirk (of FDNY)'s newest tattoo. A second date will be put on the right side once our deployment ends.