15 March
On one of our first days, we did a little FOB (forward operating base) guarding.
The view from a front gate guard post, protecting incoming convoys like this one.
16 March
During a patrol down a rural road, Matt says, "You've got to be fucking kidding me. Oh my god, you aren't kidding me."
Yes, we drove through a flock of sheep, but that's okay because from our dashboard, plastic Jesus watches over his flock. Which brings to mind a song. Feel free to sing along:
17-19 March
For a few days we had to guard a bridge.
We got swamped with kids wanting food. "Mister! Mister! Gimme food!" It helped pass the time, playing with the kids. Once we finally gave them MREs, all they'd do was ratfuck the candy out of them and dump the rest.
One of the kids had a can of dip. Sean showed him how to pack it. Remember, education is the key.
While exploring the area around the bridge, we came across this mystery thing, across a canal and behind a locked fence. Some kids were pointing at it. I seriously don't know what this is but am curious. Any ideas?
While guarding the bridge, we would stay at a nearby FOB that now is home to all the dead Iraqi tanks.
Our beautiful accommodations at the visited FOB. I slept on the concrete floor the first night, later upgrading to an inflatable sleeping mat with a slow leak.
The field showers were actually really awesome. They had hot water and good water pressure. They were run by an unattractive overweight female specialist that many guys concluded they would have sex with if given the chance. You've heard of "beer goggles", well this phenomenon is known as "field goggles" and is even more severe.
21 March
One of our standard duties is to drive up and down a major road in our AO to look for IEDs, hopefully without getting blown up by them first.
Today we were going to document the locations of all the dead vehicles on the road for eventual removal, such as this tank.
Another dead armored vehicle, probably once amphibious.
Since dead animals are a common place to hide explosives, we have to dispose of them as soon as we find them. Jeff, in the foreground, waits for a light for his cigarette and for his dog.
The dog being disposed of. Jeff got his light.
We recently found a dead cow, bloated as hell with all four legs in the air, but before we could get back to it, some other unit burned it. Damn them.
Any vehicles that are stopped on the side of the road, we stop and inspect to see if they are up to no good or if they just need help. Communicating with the Iraqis is nearly impossible, so we tend to stick to hand signals. To an Iraqi, the "thumbs up" used to mean "up your ass", but now we have taught them that it means "A-Ok". This ambiguity is absolutely sublime. Kids all across Iraq (and soldiers) can now use an obscene hand gesture with impunity. Here Jeff gives an apparent, "The bus doesn't seem to contain any weapons or terrorists. It's A-Ok.", but in reality what he means is, "Don't give me this 'broken down Iraq fantasy tour bus' shit! Where are you hiding the fucking RPGs??!! Oh, what, you don't speak English like the rest of the world does? Fine. You know what guy, just shove it up your ass."
On one of our first days, we did a little FOB (forward operating base) guarding.
The view from a front gate guard post, protecting incoming convoys like this one.
16 March
During a patrol down a rural road, Matt says, "You've got to be fucking kidding me. Oh my god, you aren't kidding me."
Yes, we drove through a flock of sheep, but that's okay because from our dashboard, plastic Jesus watches over his flock. Which brings to mind a song. Feel free to sing along:
Oh, I don't care if it rains and freezes,
long as I got my plastic Jesus,
ridin' on the dashboard of my car.
I can go ninety-five miles per hour,
long as I got almighty power,
ridin' on the dashboard of my car.
Hit a car, hit a truck,
plastic Jesus don't give a fuck,
ridin' on the dashboard of my car...
17-19 March
For a few days we had to guard a bridge.
We got swamped with kids wanting food. "Mister! Mister! Gimme food!" It helped pass the time, playing with the kids. Once we finally gave them MREs, all they'd do was ratfuck the candy out of them and dump the rest.
One of the kids had a can of dip. Sean showed him how to pack it. Remember, education is the key.
While exploring the area around the bridge, we came across this mystery thing, across a canal and behind a locked fence. Some kids were pointing at it. I seriously don't know what this is but am curious. Any ideas?
While guarding the bridge, we would stay at a nearby FOB that now is home to all the dead Iraqi tanks.
Our beautiful accommodations at the visited FOB. I slept on the concrete floor the first night, later upgrading to an inflatable sleeping mat with a slow leak.
The field showers were actually really awesome. They had hot water and good water pressure. They were run by an unattractive overweight female specialist that many guys concluded they would have sex with if given the chance. You've heard of "beer goggles", well this phenomenon is known as "field goggles" and is even more severe.
21 March
One of our standard duties is to drive up and down a major road in our AO to look for IEDs, hopefully without getting blown up by them first.
Today we were going to document the locations of all the dead vehicles on the road for eventual removal, such as this tank.
Another dead armored vehicle, probably once amphibious.
Since dead animals are a common place to hide explosives, we have to dispose of them as soon as we find them. Jeff, in the foreground, waits for a light for his cigarette and for his dog.
The dog being disposed of. Jeff got his light.
We recently found a dead cow, bloated as hell with all four legs in the air, but before we could get back to it, some other unit burned it. Damn them.
Any vehicles that are stopped on the side of the road, we stop and inspect to see if they are up to no good or if they just need help. Communicating with the Iraqis is nearly impossible, so we tend to stick to hand signals. To an Iraqi, the "thumbs up" used to mean "up your ass", but now we have taught them that it means "A-Ok". This ambiguity is absolutely sublime. Kids all across Iraq (and soldiers) can now use an obscene hand gesture with impunity. Here Jeff gives an apparent, "The bus doesn't seem to contain any weapons or terrorists. It's A-Ok.", but in reality what he means is, "Don't give me this 'broken down Iraq fantasy tour bus' shit! Where are you hiding the fucking RPGs??!! Oh, what, you don't speak English like the rest of the world does? Fine. You know what guy, just shove it up your ass."