Car Bombs Sure Make a Mess
Iraq has one major highway and from it there are two roads that run
to the logistical support base in Balad. The intersections of these
roads are an obvious favorite for insurgent assholes to attack
coalition convoys from. This day's attack was a remote-detonated car
bomb. Basically a few 155mm artillery rounds were primed and
connected to a cell phone as the trigger device then placed in a car
parked off to the side of the road at the intersection. In this
kind of attack, someone will watch the intersection and when the
next tasty target drives by, boom, mayhem ensues. This car bomb was
an old Volkswagon taxi. In Iraq, taxis are painted white and orange
similar to the way LA Police cars are painted white and black.
Another thing Iraqis love to do is dump garbage wherever and a spot
near this intersection has become a small landfill that delightfully
ignited from the explosion, filling the area with a hazy drift of
smoke to make the whole scene a bit more apocalyptic. Nice touch,
insurgent assholes!
Modern Art Masterpiece
Volkswagon frame, a la automobil bomba des insurgente arseholes, 2004
You Ordered the Engine Block? Is It Okay If I Just Put it Here By The Garbage?
As per usual, this attack made a big mess of the highway and injured
more innocent bystanders than coalition forces, both of which are
more of an inconvenience to Iraqis than anyone else. Keep up the
good work, insurgent assholes!
Wounded Air Force Guy
This convoy was mostly Air Force and this guy took some shrapnel to
the shoulder from the blast. Our medics fixed him right up and
called in a medevac. His wound wasn't life-threatening and he ended
up being okay. Notice the Nissan emblem on the truck's grill. Car emblems are cool.
Detainee
Apparently this guy was in the vicinity when the blast occurred and
seemed totally unaffected by it all. No one recognized him (soldier
or local) and his man dress was entirely too clean to have been a
local (everyone in this town is poor and mostly agrarian which means
all the locals have really grubby clothes). At the very least he
was an excellent witness to the events and possibly even the trigger man or a
lookout, so we took him with us.
Medevac
The medevac chopper landed in a field near the intersection. The
wounded Air Force guy was flown out shortly thereafter.Our Battalion Commander had an idea. We would put a cargo trailer by the side of the road and kill or capture anyone who tried to steal it! Brilliant! And this goatfuck, er, genuis plan needed a good name. So he chose to call it... OPERATION XXXX XXXX! The trailer was driven to the designated spot on the highway and left just off the side of the road as if it had been abandoned. Sometimes when huge convoys have major problems, trailers or vehicles that they can not recover in a timely manner will be abandoned. By the time someone can be sent back to recover them, the Iraqis will have either stolen them or picked them totally clean like vultures. You almost have to forgive the little thieving bastards because they consider this completely acceptable behavior, like picking up a nickel from the sidewalk. The BC and his flunkies then waited in the bushes (or whatever) for the evildoers to take the bait.
The Wrong Truck
One thing you can count on in Iraq is for Iraqis to take anything
that isn't cemented into the ground, even huge tractor trailers.
Sure enough, once it got dark some people with a truck pulled
over and tried to hook it up. That's when the BC and his boys popped
out of the shadows and nabbed the would-be thieves! Ha HA! It was at
this point that my platoon, still on QRF, was called to the
scene to help with security and the removal of the detainees. So far
things were going brilliantly, just as the BC had planned!But this was where it all started to go a bit sideways. First, there was some confusion as to what kind of truck was needed to tow the trailer back. Once a truck was finally sent down, it turned out to be the wrong kind of truck and would not be able to tow the trailer. Then there was some discussion as to what kind of truck was needed and if one was available. No one could seem to figure out where the truck that originally dropped the trailer off was. Then a brilliant sub-plan was hatched to send a truck that could tow the thieves' truck that in turn could tow the trailer. Above is a photo of the wrong truck.
Still the Wrong Truck Pulling the Thieves' Truck
After a few hours of unbelievable nonsense and some hilarious radio traffic about the different
makes of military tractor trailers, their capabilities, currently availability to us, plus a decent helping
of the BC gnashing his teeth, we were finally
ready to leave. Above is a photo of the second truck towing the thieves' truck which is towing the trailer.
"What Box of Cash?"
While the BC was on the radio trying to find himself a truck, we did
some traffic stops. Any chance we get to pull vehicles over,
we take advantage of. The more random the occasion, the better. The less predictable we are about
traffic stops, the more effective of a deterrent it is for insurgents to use the highway to
transport their evil wares. And you
won't believe some of the stuff we find this way. On this particular night, we found a
car that had a large cardboard box completely stuffed full of stacks
of Iraqi cash. They claimed the money had something to do with
the Olympic soccer game. (Winnings perhaps?) There was nothing else incriminating in the
car and they didn't seem very scumbagish, so it was decided to just
let them go. Our night was already deep into the realm of
clusterfuck and no one was eager to fill all the witness statements
this amount of cash would require.
"Hey You With the Box of Cash, Give These Guys a Jump?"
While we were checking out the guys with the cash, we stopped
another vehicle behind them. The vehicle was clean, but the battery
died and they couldn't start the engine again. So we asked the guys
with the Olympic soccer cash to give them a jump. They did so
begrudgingly.
I Fought in Iraq and All I Got Was This Shitty Necklace
Yo yo yo. One good thing did come from this day. While we were
medevac'ing the wounded Air Force guy, I found on the road part of
the grill with the VW emblem on it from the car bomb (quite a ways
from the point of detonation) which I now sport ghetto fabulously. If you are the Air Force guy who was
wounded by this car bomb, email me, I'd love to give you this
emblem. (This photo by MOB)jason@justanothersoldier.com